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The following is from the 151 writings on love, intimacy and the path to inner peace from David's book, Phoenix Soul: One Man's Search for Love & Inner Peace © 1998 David Essel

God Always Loves Me?

"It just can't be," I told my friend today
After I heard her say
"God always loves you."

How can you be so sure, where he is right now?
I'm sick of my life, mucked in personal strife
Why hasn't he answered my recent plea
Removing this pain and letting me just be
I've called him so many times, especially lately
And yet, I see no relief
My frustrations and addictions are still intact

"Remember the love you recently felt?" she poses the question
"Yes, but that person's gone, and I didn't even say goodbye."
"But that is God's way of showing you what you can feel."
"But why does it always have to end with me out on the limb, alone?"
"What about the intense feelings that recently surfaced?"
was her next remark
Nice, but she was already taken
Again, my energy was off the mark

"God is just reminding you in all of these ways
The potential is still there and soon will stay."
"If this wasn't true, if your potential wasn't there,
You would not be given these gifts
God is truly watching over you."

I believe she's right
God has recently shown me love and pain
The spectrum of all feelings
Proving I'm alone

"Now God, between you and me,
Can you come real close, look into my eyes?
Can you make it all true, maybe next time?
Where I'll be open to all that I am?