Affairs: Destroy Lives Daily.

Affairs: destroy lives daily.


For those of us that have had affairs on our partners, we can justify, even deny that we’re doing something extremely inappropriate.


We justify it by saying things like we aren’t getting enough sex at home, our partner isn’t paying attention to us emotionally or physically, they make promises they can’t keep… The justifications go on and on.


And other people do it for the adrenaline… To see what they can get away with… To add what they call “excitement“, in their lives.


But what everyone is forgetting, is that whoever is having the affair has totally destroyed their sense of identity, validation, as a decent human being.


They completely lack integrity.


Let me repeat that.


If you’re having an affair right now, or you’re thinking about one, or you’ve had them in the past and you think that they are justified, you have zero integrity!


And what does integrity mean? That we walk our talk. That we’re honest. That we’re grounded. That we wouldn’t do to someone else what we wouldn’t want to be done to ourselves.


Are you completely lacking integrity?


And then what about the person who the affair is made against?


They often walk away extremely damaged, with very low self-confidence, with very low self-esteem. They don’t think that they are “worthy of love“ because their last partner cheated on them.


Or the other angle is that they walk away jaded, angry at men or angry at women and not trusting the sex that cheated on them possibly for the rest of their lives.


A damaging fact that could and should be avoided.


And what about children? Oh my God! Destroyed in the name of your affair!


I’m not being dramatic here. Over 40 years working as a counselor, and number one best-selling author, I have seen the destruction of complete families, I have seen children as young as three and his old is 18 destroyed when one of the parents decides to have an affair and is caught.


And even if the parent is not caught, children are so intuitive, that they know that you’re out of integrity without even knowing why they feel that way.


Up until 1997, when I went through a complete 52-week course on codependency and integrity, there were multiple times before that that I had affairs on my partners even as a counselor.


I justified them. I rationalized them. And then I denied that what I did was wrong.


I was completely out of integrity!


When I finally realized how damaging my actions were to myself and others, I made a complete turnaround in 1997 and promised myself that I would never go there again, and from that day until the day I die, I never will.


Why?


I have no interest in feeling guilt or shame for cheating on a partner.


I have no interest in living out of integrity.


I have no interest in trying to cover up time that I was away, I have no interest in lying, I have no interest in being anything other than the best David Essel I can be.


If you read this, and you know I’m talking directly to you, contact me today and let’s work together from anywhere in the world at https://www.davidessel.com 


The freedom that I have experienced since deciding to never walk into an affair again, the freedom that so many of my clients have experienced by making the same decision is indescribable, beautiful, powerful, and filled with confidence and love.


And there are only two options if you’re on the verge of having an affair:


Number One. Get professional help and plan on being in with a counselor, therapist, or relationship coach for a minimum of 3 to 6 months.


Number Two. Get a divorce, break up the relationship, get honest with yourself, and please, whatever you do, stop hurting other people.

The chaos and drama will be out of your life forever. Your integrity will return. Your confidence will return. And if you struggle either being the victim of the affair, or you’re struggling today because of affairs that you’ve created in the past, let’s work together and clean up whether you were the victim or the victimizer, so that everyone can move together with greater inner peace, calmness, and truth.“


David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny McCarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“


His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by so many different organizations like Psychology TodayTherapy TribeTheravivemarriage.com has also verified David as one of the top relationship counselors and experts in the world.



Contact him today at https://www.davidessel.com 


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By David Essel January 7, 2026
I am reaching out to all of my former clients, excitedly offering you a free 30 minute session to help you prepare and make 2026 your year! Whatever you’d like to work on, creating new goals, letting go of bad habits… We will rock in 30 minutes and get you moving in a beautiful way! Whether we talk about addictions, relationships, spirituality, finances, mental health, entrepreneurship, grief, weight loss,… For almost 50 years, we’ve covered the above topics and more! Just reply to this email, saying, “I would love my free 30 minute session with David as a former client!“ And my team will set it all up for you.😊 For everyone here who has not been a former client, I want to remind you that we always have gifts for you as well: when you go to the website on the homepage, you’ll see 5 of our top 16 best selling books absolutely free! So even if you never worked with me as a client, you still have this opportunity to get all five books at no charge. By doing this, you will also have an edge and making 2026 your year! I’m excited to help as many people as I can. The whole reason I’m on earth is to do this work, and I know you and I together can help you create a plan of action that will bring you what you desire in the next 365 days ahead! Sending love, David and Team David
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By David Essel January 2, 2026
I sit here today, like many people, looking back at the last five years and understanding the struggle that most of us have been going through. Like me, you might be experiencing a holiday season without a loved one Like me you might be experiencing a holiday season that has been preceded by several years of deep trauma, that for many of us is a part of our lives… Even though we wish it wasn’t. In the struggles we’ve all faced, I think it’s so important to figure out what we’re learning about ourselves, what we’re learning about our belief systems, what we’re learning about self-care and how we treat others. Normally people do these posts on January 1 getting everyone ready for the new year, but I wanted to do it today because 2026 is in our hands, it can be complete crap, or it can be something quite different. It really depends on our perspective, our mindset, and how we’re willing to change what isn’t working now into what will work in the near future. Some of us have had incredible health struggles. Others have had relationship break ups. Others have gone through Divorce. Others have gone through financial collapse. Others have tried to figure out the whole world of grieving, after losing a loved one when they’ve never been in that position before. Others have struggled with finding the right job, the right career Others have struggled with deep mental health issues, anxiety, depression, mental issues. So we come to this point, and we can either hold onto the struggles that we’ve gone through over the last five years or we can slowly start to release them and look for tools that are all over the place and how to change our mindset how to change our subconscious mind and how to expect the best after five years of hell for many of us. Is it possible? Hell, yes! But we have to decide now… How we’re going to strengthen our mental health, how we’re going to improve our physical health, how we’re going to improve our relationships, how we’re going to improve our financial situation, how we’re going to improve anything else not mentioned here that has been a stressful experience for us in the past. Many of us will find solace in a deep connection by going deeper into your spiritual or religious experiences. Others will find solace by finding a mentor, counselor, teacher who can assist us because they’ve already been in the situation we’re currently facing. Others will find solace “community“, whether it’s business groups or Recovery, groups, or mastermind groups, community could be the answer for many people who are struggling right now. Others will find solace simply by letting go! By releasing the constant grind… By releasing the Constant need to “have more buy more“ Others will find solace by going deeper into the world of volunteerism, whether it’s pet shelters or reading to the blind, there’s so many different ways that you can start to shift your identity from struggle to service. Others will find solace by going into the creative world, by learning a musical instrument or learning how to draw or paint or woodwork or some other type of hobby that allows them to tap into different parts of the brain to continue to grow as a human being, not to get stuck in the negativity. I have clients that have found great solace in the last six months by completely getting off of all social media. I have clients in the last six months that found solace by completely eliminating anything to do with the news or political conversations. I have clients in the last year that never believe they’d be able to meditate or learn diaphragmatic breathing or learn emotional regulation or lose 50 to 100 pounds and yet they’ve all done it in the last 12 months! But it didn’t happen because they started 30 days ago it’s happened because they started 12 months ago which is the whole purpose of my article here! Now is the time my brothers and sisters to begin the change! Now is the time to start to really learn about the power of your subconscious mind and how to turn it into one of the greatest assets you’ve ever had in your life and I promise you this… If you learn how to master The subconscious mind in 12 months, you’ll be a completely different person potentially in every area of your life! I’ve seen that happen in my life! I’ve seen it happen in thousands of thousands of clients that I’ve worked with over the past 50 years… Their lives completely changed in a year or less! This is why I am Asking you to strongly consider taking the time now up until January 1 to really get yourself going so on January 2 you know what you’re gonna be doing every day in order to shatter the old triggers, to shatter the old fears and insecurities, and to bring you to the place that you want to be financially, relationship, wise, healthwise, mentally, emotionally… I want you in 12 months or less to be exactly where you want to be and I know you can do it because I’ve seen it happen over 1000 times! You have the power to radically change your life right now if you so desire! You have the power to completely turn around anything that has been a trigger, and turn it into a non-event! Believe in yourself! Believe even deeper in yourself! I am wishing you the most amazing radical change if that is what’s necessary in your life, so you can live the life of your desires, your dreams and create at the same time opportunities for others to see what’s possible… You become the role model for success! I’m sending you so much love, so much joy, and a prayer that you take 2026 seriously enough to begin in writing the daily rituals that you will start to follow in order to create what you deserve. With love, David 
By David Essel December 30, 2025
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