Grandpa, Teach Me About Real Love.

WHAT…….is real love?


How many of us really know, what real love looks like?


How many of us in a relationship are actually practicing real love?


A number of years ago a young woman came to me, asking me to teach her about love. She had been in several relationships but had never felt the experience of love, in her mind anyway.


So as I do with most of my clients, I asked her to go home with an exercise to write out the couples she knew that exhibited real love, and the next week we will talk about each of the couples that she knew.


To her surprise, and when she came in the next week she simply said to me, “David, I have no idea! I don’t know anyone who is experiencing real love!“


We talked more during that session and I sent her home with the same assignment. I told her that she had to think a little deeper and that she does know someone, that she has seen real love expressed by.


The next week she came in excited! Exhilarated!


“David, my grandparents, my grandparents have been in love for over 60 years!“


So her next assignment was to go and talk to her grandparents, to ask them what the secret to their love was.


When she asked her grandmother, her grandma simply said, “go ask your grandpa, I don’t have a clue how we pull this off.“


Bewildered, she went to her grandfather and asked him the same question.


Here is his response.


“Honey, that is a beautiful question for you to ask, and after you talk to me I want you to ask the same question of your grandmother.“

She told her grandpa that her grandmother didn’t have a clue, that it must be all up to him. Which of course made him laugh.


“OK let me tell you the secret, if this is a secret I’m not sure, but let me tell you what I did.


On the day we married, I woke up the following morning before your grandmother did, I put my feet on the floor and put my hands together in a prayer position and said… “God, I ask you to help me do one thing every day that will surprise my wife in the most beautiful of ways. It can be something super small, but I want her to know every day that I’m thinking of her, and I love her. Honey, from that day forward, every day I’ve done one thing to surprise your grandmother, to let her know I love her and I’m thinking of her.


One day it might be a small note I leave on my way out the door on the bathroom mirror. Or maybe I’ll stop on the side of the road on the way home from work and grab some wildflowers. Or maybe I’ll stop and get her favorite donut on the way home, or, from my office, I’ve even sent her cards in the mail to surprise her!


All I can tell you is what I know to be true. If we put ourselves out a little day for our partner, even if they don’t return the favor, it might just be the most important thing you do to create a love that lasts a lifetime.“


To be honest with you, as my client told me the story I had tears in my eyes. Her grandpa was right. It’s not the major things that we do that create a long-lasting love affair, but more importantly, it’s the small things we do on a daily basis.


The two-week vacation or the six-month vacation are beautiful ideas of ways to show our partners we love them. Buying them a car. Surprising them with a new outfit. There are 1,000,001 things we can do to let our partners know we love them, but what can be more powerful than a hidden note? Or wildflower picked on the way home? Favorite donut or cookie that appears before the person, without them even knowing you were going to do it?


If you need more tips on love and relationships, grab our new book, “Helping Americans Heal! The ultimate guide to healing during these challenging times.“ In this book, you will find many writings about love. How to save love and how to find love.


We all need role models in love. Thank God, there are people like the grandfather above who can hand down from generation to generation the real keys of deep, lasting love.


Let’s go for it together, right now.“


David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny McCarthy says, “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“


His work as a counselor and minister has been verified, by so many organizations like Psychology TodayTherapy TribeTheravive, and marriage.com has verified David is one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.



To work with David one on one, please visit DavidEssel.com

To order his brand new book, “Helping Americans Heal“, simply go to Amazon.com


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I am reaching out to all of my former clients, excitedly offering you a free 30 minute session to help you prepare and make 2026 your year! Whatever you’d like to work on, creating new goals, letting go of bad habits… We will rock in 30 minutes and get you moving in a beautiful way! Whether we talk about addictions, relationships, spirituality, finances, mental health, entrepreneurship, grief, weight loss,… For almost 50 years, we’ve covered the above topics and more! Just reply to this email, saying, “I would love my free 30 minute session with David as a former client!“ And my team will set it all up for you.😊 For everyone here who has not been a former client, I want to remind you that we always have gifts for you as well: when you go to the website on the homepage, you’ll see 5 of our top 16 best selling books absolutely free! So even if you never worked with me as a client, you still have this opportunity to get all five books at no charge. By doing this, you will also have an edge and making 2026 your year! I’m excited to help as many people as I can. The whole reason I’m on earth is to do this work, and I know you and I together can help you create a plan of action that will bring you what you desire in the next 365 days ahead! Sending love, David and Team David
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By David Essel January 2, 2026
I sit here today, like many people, looking back at the last five years and understanding the struggle that most of us have been going through. Like me, you might be experiencing a holiday season without a loved one Like me you might be experiencing a holiday season that has been preceded by several years of deep trauma, that for many of us is a part of our lives… Even though we wish it wasn’t. In the struggles we’ve all faced, I think it’s so important to figure out what we’re learning about ourselves, what we’re learning about our belief systems, what we’re learning about self-care and how we treat others. Normally people do these posts on January 1 getting everyone ready for the new year, but I wanted to do it today because 2026 is in our hands, it can be complete crap, or it can be something quite different. It really depends on our perspective, our mindset, and how we’re willing to change what isn’t working now into what will work in the near future. Some of us have had incredible health struggles. Others have had relationship break ups. Others have gone through Divorce. Others have gone through financial collapse. Others have tried to figure out the whole world of grieving, after losing a loved one when they’ve never been in that position before. Others have struggled with finding the right job, the right career Others have struggled with deep mental health issues, anxiety, depression, mental issues. So we come to this point, and we can either hold onto the struggles that we’ve gone through over the last five years or we can slowly start to release them and look for tools that are all over the place and how to change our mindset how to change our subconscious mind and how to expect the best after five years of hell for many of us. Is it possible? Hell, yes! But we have to decide now… How we’re going to strengthen our mental health, how we’re going to improve our physical health, how we’re going to improve our relationships, how we’re going to improve our financial situation, how we’re going to improve anything else not mentioned here that has been a stressful experience for us in the past. Many of us will find solace in a deep connection by going deeper into your spiritual or religious experiences. Others will find solace by finding a mentor, counselor, teacher who can assist us because they’ve already been in the situation we’re currently facing. Others will find solace “community“, whether it’s business groups or Recovery, groups, or mastermind groups, community could be the answer for many people who are struggling right now. Others will find solace simply by letting go! By releasing the constant grind… By releasing the Constant need to “have more buy more“ Others will find solace by going deeper into the world of volunteerism, whether it’s pet shelters or reading to the blind, there’s so many different ways that you can start to shift your identity from struggle to service. Others will find solace by going into the creative world, by learning a musical instrument or learning how to draw or paint or woodwork or some other type of hobby that allows them to tap into different parts of the brain to continue to grow as a human being, not to get stuck in the negativity. I have clients that have found great solace in the last six months by completely getting off of all social media. I have clients in the last six months that found solace by completely eliminating anything to do with the news or political conversations. I have clients in the last year that never believe they’d be able to meditate or learn diaphragmatic breathing or learn emotional regulation or lose 50 to 100 pounds and yet they’ve all done it in the last 12 months! But it didn’t happen because they started 30 days ago it’s happened because they started 12 months ago which is the whole purpose of my article here! Now is the time my brothers and sisters to begin the change! Now is the time to start to really learn about the power of your subconscious mind and how to turn it into one of the greatest assets you’ve ever had in your life and I promise you this… If you learn how to master The subconscious mind in 12 months, you’ll be a completely different person potentially in every area of your life! I’ve seen that happen in my life! I’ve seen it happen in thousands of thousands of clients that I’ve worked with over the past 50 years… Their lives completely changed in a year or less! This is why I am Asking you to strongly consider taking the time now up until January 1 to really get yourself going so on January 2 you know what you’re gonna be doing every day in order to shatter the old triggers, to shatter the old fears and insecurities, and to bring you to the place that you want to be financially, relationship, wise, healthwise, mentally, emotionally… I want you in 12 months or less to be exactly where you want to be and I know you can do it because I’ve seen it happen over 1000 times! You have the power to radically change your life right now if you so desire! You have the power to completely turn around anything that has been a trigger, and turn it into a non-event! Believe in yourself! Believe even deeper in yourself! I am wishing you the most amazing radical change if that is what’s necessary in your life, so you can live the life of your desires, your dreams and create at the same time opportunities for others to see what’s possible… You become the role model for success! I’m sending you so much love, so much joy, and a prayer that you take 2026 seriously enough to begin in writing the daily rituals that you will start to follow in order to create what you deserve. With love, David 
By David Essel December 30, 2025
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