Grandpa, Teach Me About Real Love.

WHAT…….is real love?

How many of us really know, what real love looks like?

How many of us in a relationship are actually practicing real love?

A number of years ago a young woman came to me, asking me to teach her about love. She had been in several relationships but had never felt the experience of love, in her mind anyway.

So as I do with most of my clients, I asked her to go home with an exercise to write out the couples she knew that exhibited real love, and the next week we will talk about each of the couples that she knew.

To her surprise, and when she came in the next week she simply said to me, “David, I have no idea! I don’t know anyone who is experiencing real love!“

We talked more during that session and I sent her home with the same assignment. I told her that she had to think a little deeper and that she does know someone, that she has seen real love expressed by.

The next week she came in excited! Exhilarated!

“David, my grandparents, my grandparents have been in love for over 60 years!“

So her next assignment was to go and talk to her grandparents, to ask them what the secret to their love was.

When she asked her grandmother, her grandma simply said, “go ask your grandpa, I don’t have a clue how we pull this off.“

Bewildered, she went to her grandfather and asked him the same question.

Here is his response.

“Honey, that is a beautiful question for you to ask, and after you talk to me I want you to ask the same question of your grandmother.“

She told her grandpa that her grandmother didn’t have a clue, that it must be all up to him. Which of course made him laugh.

“OK let me tell you the secret, if this is a secret I’m not sure, but let me tell you what I did.

On the day we married, I woke up the following morning before your grandmother did, I put my feet on the floor and put my hands together in a prayer position and said… “God, I ask you to help me do one thing every day that will surprise my wife in the most beautiful of ways. It can be something super small, but I want her to know every day that I’m thinking of her, and I love her. Honey, from that day forward, every day I’ve done one thing to surprise your grandmother, to let her know I love her and I’m thinking of her.

One day it might be a small note I leave on my way out the door on the bathroom mirror. Or maybe I’ll stop on the side of the road on the way home from work and grab some wildflowers. Or maybe I’ll stop and get her favorite donut on the way home, or, from my office, I’ve even sent her cards in the mail to surprise her!

All I can tell you is what I know to be true. If we put ourselves out a little day for our partner, even if they don’t return the favor, it might just be the most important thing you do to create a love that lasts a lifetime.“

To be honest with you, as my client told me the story I had tears in my eyes. Her grandpa was right. It’s not the major things that we do that create a long-lasting love affair, but more importantly, it’s the small things we do on a daily basis.

The two-week vacation or the six-month vacation are beautiful ideas of ways to show our partners we love them. Buying them a car. Surprising them with a new outfit. There are 1,000,001 things we can do to let our partners know we love them, but what can be more powerful than a hidden note? Or wildflower picked on the way home? Favorite donut or cookie that appears before the person, without them even knowing you were going to do it?

If you need more tips on love and relationships, grab our new book, “Helping Americans Heal! The ultimate guide to healing during these challenging times.“ In this book, you will find many writings about love. How to save love and how to find love.

We all need role models in love. Thank God, there are people like the grandfather above who can hand down from generation to generation the real keys of deep, lasting love.

Let’s go for it together, right now.“

David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny McCarthy says, “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“

His work as a counselor and minister has been verified, by so many organizations like Psychology Today, Therapy Tribe, Theravive, and marriage.com has verified David is one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.



To work with David one on one, please visit DavidEssel.com

To order his brand new book, “Helping Americans Heal“, simply go to Amazon.com