Working with a Counselor or Life Coach? Make Sure They Are Doing This!

Working with a counselor or life coach?

Make sure they are doing these six important keys for your success.

Over the years, the number of life coaches, the number of counselors, and therapists has increased to levels we never thought we would ever see.

So it makes it difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible, to know who is valid and who is not.

For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, life coach, and Minister David Essel has been setting the stage, sharing the most important information if you’re in the market to hire a counselor or a coach.

Below, David shares six important keys to look for to make sure the person you’re choosing, is the right match for you.

“If you’re looking to hire a Counselor or Life Coach, making sure this person is a good match for you is crucial.

Not just a good personal match, but a good professional match as well.

In the 1980s, after graduating with a degree in sports psychology I worked with athletes, bodybuilders on their mental games, health, and fitness enthusiasts as well and actually traveled the world 40 weeks a year as a motivational speaker.

In 1990 I decided to change the direction of my career and started working in the world of both counseling and life coaching, and what I’ve learned from then till today over the past 30 years is so important in order for you to choose the right professional to work with.

Here are a few keys to look for, when hiring a professional to help you change your life:

Number One. The professional should make sure that you’re the one to call, Skype or to show up on time.

One of the greatest roles that a counselor or Life Coach holds should be that of an accountability partner, and an accountability partner doesn’t call the client to remind them of the session, doesn’t send them a text to remind them of the session… Come on we’re all big girls and big boys now.

The top professionals will put the responsibility on you to remember the day, time, and even the location of where the session takes place.

If you’re working with someone who does all the work for you, sends you text reminders, and calls you or Skype’s you on the day of your session… They are creating you as a codependent client, depending upon them to do the mature work of making sure you show up for your session. That should be your job, not theirs.

Number Two. Homework. If your counselor, Life Coach does not give you written, homework to do, or does not give you reading homework to do, in other word, all they say is “great job see you next week“, run as fast as you can!

That’s not being a great counselor or life coach, they are actually wasting your time.

How much can you really change in one hour on the phone, Skype or in an office with someone? The answer? Very little… But usually they’ll be no change at all.

In 1990, when we created our “hybrid Counseling/Life Coach“ program, we made sure that the number one change we made was to give individuals assignments to complete in between the sessions every seven days.

It is amazing what people can achieve, when they’re given homework to do and they are held accountable to complete that work.

Number Three. In regards to certifications, make sure that they’ve been certified in person, not through some online course.

Even since the pandemic started, the number of online certification programs for anything you can imagine has exploded in ways that we never would’ve thought possible.

And with the explosion of online certifications, comes exploitation.

I’ve told people this for years now, if I want to learn how to grow the perfect rose, taking an online course to learn that is absolutely a great way to go, a great choice in order to save you time and money.

But if you’re going to work with people? It’s the worst choice in the world to make.

Your certification should be done in a way that it’s either in person or via Skype, not through some online course that you can take on your own with no human interaction.

I have been certifying people through our company, Life Coach Universe, since 1996 and one of the most important things I tell people is that when you get certified as a life coach, you should be evaluated by the teacher on a weekly basis via phone, Skype or in person.

You should be held accountable for the homework given, the assignments given, in order to make sure that when you’re working with a real human being at the end of your certification, that someone has overseen your ability to communicate, give direction, give assignments and more.

And in your certification program, the leader who is taking you through the program should also make sure that you do your own “internship coaching“, which means you’re going to coach people with their guidance during the certification process itself.

In our certification, our clients normally will have three intern clients over the course of the certification, and they will share with me what they’ve done well with each session and what changes they need to make in order to become a better life coach.

And also, by having these internship clients, when you come out of the life coach universe certification program that we teach, you’re automatically going to be opening your new business with at least three endorsements from the intern clients you worked with. This is crucial in order to start your business on the right foot.

The number of online certifications is only going to grow, stay far away from them if you want to do the best service for your clients.

Number Four. Attraction distraction. If you find yourself overly attracted to your counselor or Life Coach, you may want to consider working with someone else.

If your counselor or Life Coach flirts with you in any way whatsoever, you need to be leaving them immediately, getting any money returned, and finding a new professional.

We are all human beings. We can easily be attracted to our counselor as much so as someone you pass in a grocery store.

But once you become attracted to your counselor or Life Coach, the odds are your work is not going to be for you, but rather for them.

And if you’re a counselor or Life Coach who is attracted to one of your clients, you need to evaluate your ability to not let that attraction get in the way of your objective view, and, if you find that you know for sure that you’re flirting even a little bit on the side, or meeting them for coffee which is totally unacceptable, or letting them slip on their homework because of your attraction, it is best to be upfront and honest and refer them to another professional.

Number Five. Does the counselor or Life Coach you’re considering have a website? If not… Run. Every professional today should have a website with endorsements from past clients, endorsements from professional organizations, endorsements from other professionals as well as a lineup of the type of work that they believe their expertise is in.

Websites are incredibly inexpensive these days to create, and you really want to make sure that the person that you’re working with has experience in the area you’re struggling with.

If they haven’t taken the time, or spent the money to create a website that includes their prices, in my opinion they’re not someone that is taking this at the highest professional level possible.

Number Six. No involvement outside of your sessions. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the above statement about being attracted to your counselor or coach, or if the coach or counselor is attracted to you.

If a client asks a professional counselor or coach to meet for coffee just for the heck of it, the professional counselor coach will say absolutely not.

If you are the client and your counselor or coach invites you out to lunch, coffee or for a drink… Once again run away!

This is highly unprofessional, and it shows huge red flags coming up down the road.

If you’re a woman, I would Google the persons background of who you’re working with, especially if you’re going to be one on one with them in an office space.

I’m not being paranoid here, I’m looking out for your safety, and there are many people with bad track records that move from city to city to avoid being labeled “unprofessional.“

Buyer beware. I use coaches myself. I use counselors myself. I continue to grow in life personally and professionally because I ask for outside help.

It is becoming more commonplace now, for parents to be bringing their 10-year-olds, 15-year-olds, and 18-year-olds into my office for help in a variety of ways.

In my practice, over the past 30 years there is not any topic that we don’t cover, but most new counselors and new coaches should work within a niche, something that they have an incredible passion for… There are very few professionals that can do what we do, meaning work with any type of challenge you might have.

There are a few professionals that I have met, and who I really respect, that can do what we do, meaning work with any type of challenge you might have: Finances, trauma recovery, career help, addiction recovery, relationship assistance, divorce help, weight loss, attitude changes, how to write a book, how to come to closure with someone who is no longer in your life… In other words, there’s pretty much not one topic that we do not cover.

But that’s because we’ve been doing it for over 30 years.

I love working with my counselors and coaches, and more than that I love working with all the clients that we have a have had over the past 30+ years.

Recently, we passed our 400,000th counseling session, which absolutely blows my mind! I had no idea we would ever be able to reach that many people in the 30+ years we’ve been in this business.

I firmly believe that a good counselor or a good life coach can absolutely help you breakthrough self sabotage techniques and help you to achieve massive goals that you will never be able to do on your own.

And for that very reason, I encourage you to search for the perfect person for you… Today.”

David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny McCarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“

His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by organizations like Psychology Today, and marriage.com, has also verified David as one of the top relationship experts and counselors in the world.



To work with David one on one, for your own personal goals, or to become a master certified life coach through his program, visit www.davidessel.com